One student received a poem back about her poem:
Just looked at your poem :) Nice page
I'm a New Yorker too
But I'm older than you
So I wish you good luck
On this highway you don't need a truck
But if you're a chicken youd betta' duck
or it won't be cluck! cluck!
One high school student to another on initial contact:
Hi! My name is (name) from (school) High School I am also sixteen years old and I LOVE Stephen King! I hate Star Trek, sci-fi novels, and philosophy also I love to read horror books and it would be nice to someday meet Stephen King I would like to someday be a criminal lawyer(hopefully) I should probably tell you that I am responding to your E-Mail Message that I received in my computer class, just in case your wondering If you would like to write back to me, my e-mail address is (email) Hope to hear from you Sorry so short, I'm running out of time and I must get to my next class Bye!
Student to student correspondence:
I was browsing on the web when I discovered your very interesting homepage .
Keep up the good work!
Hi! How are you? Happy to hear from you (Whoever you are) Thanks for reading my homepage My homepage is now under construction, and later on I plan to put more interesting picture in there Well, are you from Bronx Science? And try to tell me more about you.
Now let me introduce myself (Eventually I don't have to, If you already visit my page, you should know everything already) Anyway I hope we could be friend That it for now Talk to you later I look forward for your reply.
Thank you for your kindest words Well, I am just a sophomore at BxSci and have just started using the internet as well as trying to build my own page. It is still under construction I can see that your homepage has a lot of essays and short writings If you plan to add more pictures, it would probably be better It is already very nice organized =)
Student to student:
Found your page interesting My school is doing something similar only we are linking with some school in Iowa Anyway, keep up the good work.
Student to student:
Subject: Re: Stanislaw Lem: The Cyberiad
If this was part of a class assignment then feel free to tell your teacher the Chicken Guy says "A+"
Keep up the hard work
Student to student:
Thanks for the mail I'm glad that you like the picture. I'd like to fix my web page up so if you got any ideas tell me. If you know any thing about cars then maybe you can help me I'm having a problem with my lights and the gas gauges I think that it is a short so if you can help write back but even if you can't I'd like to here from you again any way I have to go So write back soon I can use all the info I can get.
My name is (name) I am a student at Cummings High School in North Carolina I love your car If you need any help on the design of your web page, and if that is allowed on this project all you have to do is ask? Ok?
If you want to see what I can do come to my site at:
There you can get software, email me, and find out some of MY interests.
C'ya in cyberspace
Another teacher to student:
(name), your page is very beautiful! It caught my eye right away and actually encouraged me to read all of your selections My husband and I are teachers I am home with the kids; he is at Seward Park HS My criticism is this: while your writing is well thought out, you are presenting work that can be accessed internationally Watch your spelling/proofread You might also want to form your paragraphs in such a way so that they are easy to read You and your classmates are invited to go to http//shaktitrincolledu/~bpeery/NYChtml This is one page I keep returning to Good luck and congratulate your teacher for putting together such a cleverly integrated program.
A mentor to one of my students:
What a cool class for a high school to have I bet the attendance rate is great!!
I'm looking for someone to help me create a rather simple web page I am a counsellor by trade I'm taking a leave of absence from my private practice to do some writing but still miss reaching out to people and the income I would like to create a web page that had two email responses;one to join a newsletter(sent by email) and the other to consult with a therapist by mail(parenting issues,stress management,life struggles,referral in their area,etc)I also would want to add a few links to various sights of interests to parents and adolescents; music, art, literature, concerts, etc What would it take to create this?I would appreciate any direction you or your class can offer.
Also is it possible to have a IRC link for private real time group discussion? or am I dreaming? thanks again.
Perusing your website/pages made me wish I was in high school again thanks for letting me walk in your garden:-)
Mentor to student:
This is to acknowledge that I received your message If you or any of your classmates have any questions regarding html,the net, or the web, feel free to contact me at any time! I should also mention that I am originally from Brooklyn (Downtown- Nevins St betw Atlantic Ave and Pacific St) I do go back to NYC from time to time, so if your class or teacher would like me to come in, that can be arranged as well.
Mentor to student:
I observed your home page and read your poem and essay on violence, as well as your small bio about yourself I commend you and your classmates on your project. You have a good start to your homepage, and I look forward to seeing what more you do with it. Might I suggest that you proofread your essay more closely as you have made some grammatical errors that detract from the importance of what you are saying Presentation is a key factor in making people sit up and take notice of what you are saying and writing I work with young people such as yourself in a non-profit organization that assists students in gaining admission to college and applying for the financial aid needed for them to attend. In addition we offer a number of other services as well. Would love hearing back from you, if and when you get a chance Again, good start and keep it up!
mentor to student:
(Name), I go to Murry Bergtraum and I'm in the eleventh grade my major at this school is accounting.
I like to listen to music (except country and heavy metal) and I find it difficult to read anything that is not science fiction I like rain and I hate snow
I'm 17 years old and after school I work part time in a hospital my favorite subjects are English and History I dislike math a lot, I would probable like it if I did well at it.
I have a dog it's a pitbull and he is 9 months, I hate cats! When I finish school I am not sure what I want to be, but it would probably be something that makes a lot of money since that is my major goal in life.
I will probably go to college and become an accountant, I don't really like accounting but there is a lot of money to be made in it.
PS If I get the guts I would love to be a scientist, and advance technology so much that we would be fifty years ahead of ourselves (Our I'll marry rich)
(name), and although I've done lots of things I'm currently the web author/webmaster at WeB MarKeTing.
My musical interests include everything except country and rap, and I read Time and Astronomy Magazine and lots of stuff in between.
One of my all time favorite books is Dune, which held me under its spell for several years as I read and reread it, each time picking up new and hidden subtleties in the plot.
Math was once a favorite subject of mine and, had I pursued it, could have taken me to the top of a mountain where I could gaze at the stars and help unlock the secrets of the universe Alas, life and my poor study habits, the smarts were there but the self discipline was not, put me on a different road Now I can only read about the great discoveries being made through the use of the Galileo telescope and other spacecraft.
I love cats! Dislike dogs.
In college I majored in Finance and, although I did not like it all that much, it provided a firm foundation upon which to build PS Once I was married, but I'll never do that again unless I fall madly in love because that's the only reason to get married
If you would like me to be your mentor in this Internet project, I will do my best to help you.
I can tell by your home pages that you have a good base to build upon, yet you lack the self discipline and perhaps the confidence needed to do quality work You may think it doesn't matter but I assure you it does.
I have several rules which must be adhered to
First and foremost is honesty If you say you will, then you must see it through
Second, you agree to spend an extra half hour each day working This extra time is exclusive of the time it takes to correspond with me.
Third, I will give you little tasks, as needed, for you to accomplish.
These will take little time You agree to do them
If this is agreeable to you then your first task is to note the difference between my "I am" letter and yours Note how each of your paragraphs begin with the word "I"
I'm sure you can proof read this short introduction, correcting the spelling errors, the grammar, and the punctuation with the help of a good English book or a teacher during a study period Look up the words "there" and "their" in a dictionary and note their proper usage. Then, rewrite these ever so short paragraphs so that they do not all begin with I, yet convey the same thought process Then repost the revision to the server by Wed the 10th Finally, please answer the following questions so that I understand the resources at your disposal:
1 What type of computer are you using? 2 - 3 or 486?
2 What is the processor speed? What OS are you using?
3 What is the baud rate of your modem access to the web?
4 Do you have access to a word processor? If so what kind? Does it have a spell checker?
5 Do you have a computer at home? If so the above questions should be answered for it.
6 Are you using a web author program or typing HTML in a text editor? Either way, name it
I'll expect a reply on the 10th of the month, or earlier if you so desire
In response to the student's work:
Ah! Now I've got you thinking good! Your letter is much better in terms of style and tone than your first attempt at the "I am" composition. It conveys feelings and personality Formal writing has its place, in business for example, but when writing about yourself ie: trying to convey your personal ideas, viewpoints, etc, its best to be less formal, more emotional if you will That requires one to write in a manner similar to how they speak, and this letter proves that you can And may I say that you do it well
As far as proofing your work I believe that its short sighted not to.
In terms of what the class is all about you are correct that it's not a class primarily about writing, styles, grammar or spelling But it is a forum which brings together all that you have learned for all to see for better or worse Why not take an extra minute or two to make sure what you are writing is coming across in the best possible light
This is my only point And from what I read I felt that you could do better if you applied the knowledge you have learned over the years to your work on this project After all, you published it on the net for the world to see, thereby exposing yourself to constructive criticism Note the key word here is constructive It will never be my intent to take cheap shots at your abilities, only to encourage you to think and decide for yourself what has merit
OK!! Enough of this I trust you completed assignment #2 by proofing your work, making corrections where you deemed necessary, and reposting your work ( I have not checked your pages yet today)
We will now turn our attention to the task at hand
What do you want me to do for you? Do you have any questions? Have you checked out my server yet? Its small but growing and I did all the work myself over the past 9 months, with no previous experience.
Did Mr Nellen give you a class outline? If so, I'd like to see it
Well that's about it for now
I hope you study hard and pass all you exams with flying colors!
OH Yeh! If you get time you could go to:
for some info on HTML Writing or to:
for some cool images and icons to dress up your pages ( which I'm sure is on the agenda sometime soon)
Mentor to a student:
Thank you for sharing your essay on violence It is encouraging for adults to see that younger people are interested in the very topics they will be responsible for handling when they themselves become adults By "Responsible for handling" I mean that each individual has a responsibility to better the world they are living in, even if the scope of that betterment only reaches their own home.
Although I agree with you that the media is not completely responsible for the level of violence in the world today, I do feel it plays a more predominant role Some people believe that what separates humans from the bestial ways of the animals is our ability to reason and form societies that follow rules which protect us all These "rules" take on the form of law, religion and societal morals For a society to survive, these rules must be followed and encouraged or we revert back to our animal nature How do you positively encourage people to follow these rules? By following them yourself and surrounding yourself with positive examples The violence that you see all around you on television and in movies does not encourage this They promote the idea that bad behavior exists and therefore we must simply accept it. You are correct - there always has been and always will be evil and violence, but I genuinely believe that we do not, and should not accept it.
I encourage you over the next week to pay close attention to how many negative, violent things you see and hear versus the positive things If the bad outweighs the good, try to think of something you can personally do to balance the score Do not worry about laws and all of society and how we should handle "the bad guys" just yet Simply be good to your parents and your friends, and think of the things you would like to one day teach your own children about how humans should behave We cannot fix all the problems of the world, but we can fix some problems within our own families - which eventually affects the world Don't you agree?
Mentor to student:
First, I am very proud of you being able to have your own homepage Your essay on yourself is interesting, however I think you need to watch up the word "because",
I think with hard work and determination you'll make it to Binghampton
Bye now from Kuching