Your Turn

Your Turn

Now you can try it. Here is another story, only this one has not yet been reviewed. Using "I heard, I noticed, I wondered," comment on the story and e-mail us your critiques as though we had written it.

"Pretty good deal, hey kid?"

The ferry crew hauled the thick wet ropes on board as the giant boat motor roared and spun beneath the deck. As they worked, a small blue-jeaned boy stood inside the safety gate, watching every movement of the crew members, all the time pulling his sweatshirt hood up and down over his head. When two of the men pushed through the gate toward the cab, the boy plunged his chubby hands into his pockets and strode alongside them.
"Do you do this every day?" he asked, breathing rapidly while trying to keep up. They looked down at the deep, dark eyes of the tiny Native American boy.
"Yeah," the blond one replied. "I get paid, too. Pretty good deal, hey kid?" He nudged his buddy and they exchanged glances. The dark one laughed.
"We'll see you around, kid," the blond said while patting the young boy on his head. They disappeared into the cabin and the boy stumbled just outside the door. He turned and faced the water for a moment, lost in thought. What was going through his mind at that moment? Maybe he was thinking about somthing more remote and adventurous, like stories told to him about his ancestors crossing these waters to the islands. Maybe he thought about the ferry crew traveling back and forth every day between the islands. Maybe he was thinking about working on the ferry when he grew up, hauling in ropes and talking to little boys. As he stood there, his hair was tousled about in the wind and his dark eyes shone.
Then suddenly he snapped back into action by turning and weaving a path among the passengers, who were all lost in their own thoughts while staring out into the water.
(This piece was, in fact, written by student writer Janae Sebranek, and can be found in Writers Inc.)

Happy peer reviewing! We look forward to seeing your comments.

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